Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize