So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat