so explain again why im purple
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.