Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.