you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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