I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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