I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
