Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
