I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
