Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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