there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
