Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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