I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
