Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
