Screwed.edu
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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