Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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