Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
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He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Holy shit dude........stairs
where are my eyebrows?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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