I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
