so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
