so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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