did you get engaged???
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
