TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
