is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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