going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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