No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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