Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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