Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
