There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
