Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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