I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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