And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
