so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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