Can i not drive my cunt home
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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