I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dicks are not precious.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
