Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My ATM looks so different sober.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize