so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
