its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
