you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize