im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
