roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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