Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
