come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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