And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
