Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
