i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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