And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
