he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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