Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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