would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
