try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
