I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
