How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
