The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
