i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
