CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
