At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
